Well now fellers crowd near the fire and warm yer toes and fill them coffee mugs! I'm 'bout to go off on a longwinded rant about the rigors of swimming in Jan.!! See..it's like this. Right now the only thing left fer me to hunt is "limb-bacon" since deer season has ended and I'm too lazy to hunt rabbits without a biggle. I've been seein' a pile of squirrels (limb-bacon) down yonder at the crick below my home all year long. Problem is..most of the fat ones ayre on t'other side of the crick! Soooo...today I headed down yonder in fishin' waders...yeah hip-boots..figgerin' to cross that stream and git me some of them fat bushytails on t'other side. I'm carrying my beloved Bess today..a 75cal./11ga. flintlock military smoothbore. The Bess has been around since the early 1700's..mine is a 1730 carbine model. Anyways....I waddled down the hill and made it all the way accross that crick wifout a single incident. Plopped my ample posterior down near a maple tree that's so big ya'll wouldn't believe me if I told ya how big it is..(8ft. across the stump!) and commenced to wait. An it was cold! I mean fearful wind-bitin'-snot-freezin'-on-yer-upper-lip cold! Didn't take long till I spied movement yonder and watched as 3 grays flitted by without a shot bein' fired. #4 wasn't so lucky! Yeah...I missed it but at least he knew I was there! Squirrels #5 and 6 snuck up on me.... and... I also..didn't get a shot. When the 7th. one came by..I was ready! Fttt..baawhoom! YEEHAWW! A tender young fryer hit the ground and I snatched him up like a rat on cheese and scrambled for the house! Mind ye I was nearly froze! I'd had enough of the cold and 1 squirrel makes a fine meal wif a salad and some greens. So I headed back to the crick and that's where today turnt to ++++! More to come...Audie..

 

Well now folks..there I was. Only had to cross a crick 30yds. wide and a foot deep. No worries mates..already did it once today... now I'm just returning home. Cross the crick..walk up a 90deg. hill for 80yds. and I'm on the front porch. Piece of cake! My toes was 'bout numb from them waders but I still did puddy good fer the first 29yds. and 35inches of wading. I got into trouble when I stepped on the far bank and SPLOOSH! Did a "split" right there and filled both boots up with icy cold water!! Ahhhh...nothing quite tightens up the ole spincter like a blast of ice-water filling up yer hip-boots and the current begins to suck you right into the crick...in January! Mind ye! It's only a foot deep! But when yer face down in it and yer boots is full'a water and ye kin feel it dragging you towards The Chesapeke Bay...some things in life git real impordant! First thing I did was heave that squirrel on the bank..followed directly by the Bess. Shortly afterwards I clawed my way to the bank and figgered..."I best be gittin' up that hill and home...poste-haste!" It's 30 degrees and snowing...but it's only 80yds....up a cliff. More to come....Audie..still thawing out...

 

Well fellers...80yds. don't sound very far. But try it walking in hip-boots full'a water that is freezing...in Jan....inn'a snowstorm....packin' a heavy squirrel. I cleared the crest of the hill....stopped long enough to find a stick to poke my lungs back into my chest and crawled to the porch and guv a sigh of relief and a prayer of thanks. The next thing I had to do was hoist my feet into the air as I lay on my back to drain them boots. Mind ye...I wasn't haulin' all that water into my newly remodeled home. Ya'll ever done that? Flopped down on yer back in the snow and tried to lift yer legs o'er yer head?? Wearin' hip-boots full'a slushy frozen water? KNOWING..full well where that water is going to go! I didn't think so. I have. And Survived. Audie..the Oldfart..

 

Well I have to ask, was the Squirrel worth it ?

 

that's the next installment.
but i will give you a hint on how it starts.
that big ol bess only nocked the tree rat out. when it hit that cold freezin water, it started to come back to life.

ok Audie, i warmed the crowd up fer ya.

 

Aye Chris and TJ....I don't know what it is about huntin' squirrels but I do love it so! Mebbe it's that ye git to shoot more'n once..eh? And Chris..nuthin' is as tasty as fresh limb-bacon..well cleaned and dredged in eggs and shook inn'a bag of seasoned flour and fried in an old crusty iron skillet...in real bacon grease! Brown 'em off real good then put a lid on with 1/2 cup of water added to the skillet and let 'em simmer a spell. Whilest they're simmerin' put some greens on to cook. I like asparagus or kale or spinach. In about 2 beers time take the lid off the skillet and set the tender morsels aside and add a spoonfull'a flour to the drippin's in the pan..stir it up well as it cooks and add enough water or milk to make gravy of it. Now..a few biscuits alongside all that on a plate and ye got vittles!! Yessirre fellers. And now I'll attempt to post a poem about squirrels fer yer enjoyment. Audie..the Oldfart...

 

A poem....or poy-em....of limb-bacon. I love to hunt them in the fall...when frost is here..no leaves at all. For that is when I see them best... and can continue with my quest. To hoist my gun and pray they stop..so I can guv 'em one good POP! And many times I flinch and miss..sometimes I wonder the sense of this? Why flintlock guns and barrels smooth? It seems I hunt... intent to lose. But huntings not about the kill..for me it's all about the thrill. To loose the **** that strikes the steel... and provides a tender tasty meal. I've missed them high and missed them low..in warm fall days and swirls of snow. I figger by now ya'll might have guessed...I really like to hunt them..best. Audie..peering out the window and figgerin'...time to go huntin'!

 

great poem Audie!!

 

I love to hunt, swim and eat squirrel, hopefully not in that order.