Coming home from town this afternoon I found a close friend laying in the road not far from my house. Seems like life got to be too much for him. I never wanted to see a sight like that and hope I never will again. I'll never understand suicide, I mean, my life sucks bad at times, but I still enjoy life too much to take my own. It was tough to report it and then call other friends and neighbors with the news. I'm still shook up, can't imagine what sort of bad dreams this will bring on, but I just can't get that image out of my head.

 

Wow Jeff, sorry to hear that, being a volunteer first responder I have seen alot, but never someone who I knew well enough to call a friend, I know it is difficult to cope with and those type of images still remain in my dreams, I hope you and the friends and neighbors all do well coping, best of luck and may God bless.

 

I never expected to see something like this on here. Jeff I can't imagine how I would react upon coming upon this myself. Had he been though something traumatic recently?

 

He's had some tragic moments in his life, his son was killed in an auto accident several years ago and his grandaughter was killed on a go cart he bought her many years ago. He was in his late 60s and of course his health wasn't what it once was. Depression has been pretty bad the last few years and he had threatened this many times, but we never thought he would go through with it. I guess we just never know what is going through a person's mind and have to wonder if there was anything we could have done to prevent such tragedy.
The boys I work for are really torn up about it, they have known him their whole lives. He was like a father figure around here, helped anyone who needed it and I guess that's what makes it so bad, we didn't help him when he needed us most.
I saw a lot of blood and gore when I worked for a towing company, but it really hits home when it's someone you know well that is laying there. I don't think I'll ever get that image out of my mind, I see it every time I try to close my eyes.

 

Jeff, I hate to hear this. I wish there was something I could do to help you forget the site. I know it's distrubing, especially when it's someone you've known for quite a while.I used to think depression was one of those things hypochondriacs used for attention. That was until a couple of years ago when I was unemployed for the better part of 7 months. At first it was nice to have a little free time to catch up on a couple of things. But it wasn't a couple of weeks until it started to hit me that my wife was supporting the family. I never thought of ending it all...but it still messed me up to point that my wife made me seek professional help (seriously). I now know how much depression can really screw up your thinking.I was talking to one of my fellow engineers the other day. He hit & killed a young lady (early 20's) on St. Patrick's night outside KC with a 14k ton train. He told me he still sees her face as she realized she wasn't going to be able to beat the train. I've never hit anyone with a train, let alone truck...but I pray just about every trip out that I don't. Jeff, if you need to talk...give me a call.

 

I too used to think the same thing until the death of my wife. Then I too realized that depression is real. I have suffered from severe depression for 2 years and sometimes it is hard to go on, but have never had thoughts of suicide. I took meds for it until I realized that living that way wasn't for me, I mean I was no longer depressed, but there was no joy in things either, just a middle ground. Now I still have episodes of depression, today seems to be one of those, but I know that it will end and I will feel the joy of living again. Sorry to burden all of you with this, but just feeling down and writing it down helps a little, thanks guys.

 

Jeff, next time I see you I'm going to buy you a cup of coffee (if it's cold) or a coke (if it's hot). I know EXACTLY what you mean. It's because things like this chapter thread (and FB)....that I haven't gone off the deep end during my weeks up here. I joke with my step mother (who's a pediatric psychologist at ACH) that if she ever opened my head up it would scare her to death. I know there's things going on in my head that I keep from allot of folks...even my wife. But what do you do with them?

Your not dragging me down, if you don't talk about it...it will eat you alive. I know it's done it to me a couple of times.

 

Zack, if we knew that we could get rich and put the drug companies out of business too
I guess I'm back to my routine that I had shortly after my wife passed, have an anxiety attack in the middle of the night and spend the rest of it in my 53 riding the roads. Got back home about 5:30 this AM and finally went to sleep about 7. Forgot to turn off my phone and someone called and woke me up Now I'm gonna be a grouchy SOB the rest of the day.
Oh, and by the way... I drink coffee all day, hot or cold

 

If had be born rich instead of just good looking I wouldn't be sitting in this camper waiting for the phone to ring and deliver the bad news (I'm going to be working all night). Maybe if I hadn't told my sister Paris that she's a crackhead ****, I'd still be in the good graces of the family fortune?I don't have the anxiety issues, just anger management issue. I have a habit of flying off the handle over some seeming simple items. Two weeks ago I don't even remember what it was that set me off, but it was the final straw of the afternoon. I got on the scooter and took off like a bat out of hell. Looking back, it sounded pretty cool to listen to the pipes talk...but that may not have been the best way to handle it. But I was sure I was going to do or say something I would regret if I didn't get out of the house.And I though I was the only one that way when the phone wakes me up....especially when it's a wrong number. I cussed one guy out asking him for his #$%@ phone number so I could call him at home in the middle of the night and return the favor. He hung up for some reason...go figure!
When I first started at CAT (15 years this month ago in-fact!)...I worked in the parts warehouse. My boss would drink coffee all day, everyday no matter how hot it was outside. He tried to explain the reason to me one time...I didn't buy it...but JD was an interesting person to say the least. I was out of that department when he retired (thank goodness) because things went to hell in a hand-basket shortly afterwords.

 

Hey guys, think about this, you never see a motorcycle parked outside a shrink's office.

 

True, unless it's in the Dr's reserved spot I sure wish mine was running, I could use some 2 wheeled therapy.

 

I thought it was functioning when you bought it last summer? Scooters are very relaxing...or at least the V-twin and cruiser versions. Not sure about the crouch rockets & knobby tire versions.

 

It was, but unfortunately earlier this year I think I cracked a skirt on the front piston. I have a sharp rattle and smoke from the front cylinder. Haven't had time to tear into it, guess I'll make that priority when I get back home.

 

I'm going to ask this just because I don't know how you do it. But how do you crack a piston skirt? I'm guessing un-luck of the draw...thought I'd check. Speaking of spinning wrenches on the 2-wheelers...I need to change the oil in mine. Since I'm too cheap to buy a lift or stand...guess I'll had the boy a $10 bill and get him to just hold it upright. What's the worst that could happen?

 

Not sure, but I believe it involves a large puddle of oil on the garage floor and a bike and a son laying on top of you in the middle of said puddle.
That being said, I got my jack from O'Reilly's for about $50. I think Harbor Freight has 'em for around $80 or so.